The Days of a Silly and Ordinary Girl! :D

This is just a random thought that passed my mind while I was idling, but it got me thinking and wondering. We grew up listening to sentences like, "Think about others! You shouldn't be selfish! Spare some for others!" and any other similar ones. We were raised and taught how to always share with others, and to not be greedy. That sharing means caring, that sharing is a good deed, that being selfish will make people avoid you and you'll be lonely and so on. That being altruistic is one of the should-have principles in life.  

But what if we end up being too altruistic? That we're so used to thinking about others too much, that we forget to care for ourselves? That we are used to prioritizing others, and forget that we should prioritize ourselves too at times? What if we care so much about others, but we don't get the same in return, is it wrong to feel hurt? Just like how one-sided love works, one side loves too much, the other doesn't care as much, when the one side gets hurt, who to blame? The one who has too much love to share? Or the one who can't return the love? 

To be honest, I was too naive at first growing up holding that "altruistic" ideology firmly that I used to believe when I think about others, when I put them first, they'll do the same to me, and we'll all be happy because we care about one another, living in this peaceful world, but hell NO, that's definitely not the way the world works. I do learn from experiences that we cannot expect everyone to have the same way of thinking like we do. Everyone is just different. So when you are being altruistic to others, doesn't mean that they'll be as considerate. It doesn't sound all that nice, but that's the truth.  

Well, I used to think, when others are happy, I can be happy too, but when they are not happy, I start to feel bad and blame myself, and I end up hating myself even more, and I become unhappy too. But again, who will think about me? When I'm busy caring about others, who will care about me? That's when the reality hit. 

I once asked my friends' thoughts about this, and I'm glad they gave me honest opinions which also enlighten me a lot. they said that I was hurt, because I expected too much; that being altruistic means being the one who gives sincerely, without expecting to get anything in return, it's not a give-and-take anyway. Whatever happens after the giving is done, either they give back or not, it's really beyond our control. 

So, lessons learned. First, it is okay to be both altruistic and selfish at the same time. Selfish means you should love yourself, care about yourself first before you love and care bout others, while being altruistic is also fine, as long as it is not too much, and it's not killing you from the inside. Life is all about balance, after all. Second, you shouldn't be thinking too much or expecting too much of others, cause it can hurt too sometimes.

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credit to Le Love

The internet connection in my house broke down again for the "I-don't-know-how-many-times-already-in-a-year" and it has been off for the entire three weeks that I had to pass Christmas and New Year, at home, PRIMITIVELY. Yes, you hear me right. Primitively. T.T

And I had to bear with all these "no network connection" days, living through my holidays watching the local TV which has nothing much to watch, and I'm pretty sure I had even memorized the schedule of the TV programme. So well yeah, my holiday was pretty much "...".  

What? You wanna say. "That's really not much, you can just do fine without the internet."? Well, let me tell you, what about you try to live without it for a month, and let's see whether you can still say the same thing.

Anyway, Happy New Year guysssss! 

Well, due to my very lame internet at home (yeah, yeah, I'll stop complaining about it, haha), I know it's too late to wish you a happy new year, but I'll just do it anyway. XD

I'm really THANKFUL to you, yes, you, the one who's reading, it's still you, for reading my blog and all my posts, my silly writings, my honest yet humble (not really sure whether it's humble or not) reviews, my travel diaries, my ordinary daily lives and weekends, my still-on-progress-but-hopefully-it's-improving photographs, and everything else that I get to share to you through this blog. 

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, yes, I'm still referring to you, haha, for sparing a tiny miny time of your life to walk through 2016 with me. Lots of things happened, lots of firsts, lots of hellos also goodbyes. It has been a exhilarating and thrilling journey, definitely a milestone in my life. And through all of these times, again and again, THANK YOU, whoever you are, for being a reader, a listener, a friend, to whom I can share my random thoughts, and tell my stories. 

If there's a word other than THANK YOU, I would have said it, but it seems that the best word to show my gratitude is still THANK YOU. so here's another THANK YOU. XD

I don't have any big resolution for 2017, neither do I have any "new year, new me" kinda slogan, but I promise I'll work harder, also play harder, haha, to create more interesting and various contents, so that you won't easily get bored of me, muahaha, so please don't be bored, keep visiting my blog, and you can comment and give me ideas, we can know each other, and let's be good friends. :)

My sincerest wish to YOU, is a happy new year, a happy you, and don't forget to spread more love and kindness to others. :)

❤❤❤

WITH LOTS OF LOVE, 

Two of my daddy's best friend, passed away suddenly in 5 days apart, both with sudden heart attack. 

They are both known to be healthy, kind, care about others, and leave behind a wife with two daughters. 

It's really sad how life ended just like that. 

Without prior notice. 

Without having the chance to even say the word "Goodbye."

Without having the chance to let those left behind be prepared.

It gets me thinking 

how we should just live this life like there's no tomorrow, 

how we should just love others like there won't be any other chance to love.

Live more, love more, give more, my friends :)

As we've still got the precious times in our hands. 

 

Yes, I'm 23 this year, can't avoid it anymore, though I still feel like I'm 20 (pssst, I'm not kidding!) XD 

Since I still feel like playing around, I guess it's time to stop, accept the reality (that I'm 23 now, arrrghh!), and get serious with my life? 

But truthfully, maybe because it's the 23rd birthday that I have in my life, I don't expect it to be a blast anymore, I want it to keep it simple, and warm with closest people around. I don't feel that birthday is that much special anymore. I don't purposely stay up late till 00.00 to see who's the first person to wish me "Happy Birthday!", or purposely wake up earlier than my usual wake-up time to check the texts. I don't expect to get a birthday present or surprise and I don't even feel sad when I really didn't get one. 

Nevertheless, I'm very grateful that people remembered my birthday and bought me some cakes to celebrate it. I'm very happy. Being together with all of you, the warmest people in the world, living through the up and downs in life, is enough for me. :) 

This year, I wish to be healthier, to be more mature, more grateful and learn to give more. Wish me luck!

Thank youu to all of you, who have sweetened up my birthday :D

Due to all the cakes, I'm pretty sure, I'm sweet enough right now :d

xoxo

sillyandordinarygirl

Hi, there! :)

It's CNY Day 6, so have you got yourself a lot of red pocket?

If you have, good for you!! Save some of the money, okay?

If you don't get a lot, it's fine, Chinese New Year is not entirely about money, it is all about togetherness anyway. :D

Well, well, today I'm sharing a story of one part of my life, that I don't think I would forget easily.

This is actually the reason why I'd been missing for almost the whole month of January. To be honest, I contemplated a lot about whether or not to share this story with all of you. Because I don't really like sharing bad news to others. But since this blog is called "The Days of Silly and Ordinary Girl", I guess I should share it, no? I mean, my days can't be those happy ones all the times, right? 

Okay, hopefully you still remember I mentioned that I had a terrible headache on 31st December morning, the day when all the G-8 members had the hotpot party? It all started from there. That terrible headache had actually eased a bit when we're having the party, maybe because I was busy doing something else at that moment that I didn't have time to think about the headache, till around after midnight, I felt the pain again. I took a cold medicine with paracetamol and went to sleep thinking it would ease off. But even the next morning, I woke up with the same condition. I thought maybe it's because I slept late, and I lacked of sleep, I'd be fine in a few days. 

Till the day I went to work, I still could feel it. I asked to leave early from work on the third day working in January. And the next day morning, my mom told me to just stay at home for another day as I was not looking any better. I said yes to her, told my colleagues that I couldn't come that day. And that's all I could remember, till suddenly everything felt like a dream. I only had some pieces of blurry images in my head, I could feel people carrying me, moving me, calling my name, but that's all. I was like conscious for 5 seconds, and blacked out for another several hours. Again and again. I didn't know what was happening. 

When I finally woke up, there were people circling around me, looking at me with anxiety. I was lying on a bed in a hospital ward. They told me that I had been sleeping for 3 days full, not waking up at all. They asked me several times whether I remember fainting or when somebody came to visit me, but I could remember nothing about whatever that happened during the past three days. I lost my appetite (which is usually super huge), I lost my weight, and I lost my energy.

I was hospitalized for 6 days in total.

If you asked me, what's wrong? I myself don't have the clear answer. I even had myself checked in Penang, but the doctors told me there was nothing wrong with me. I didn't hit my head, my blood check shows that I'm totally normal, so I had no idea what's wrong. They told me, maybe because my body is weak, and I overworked myself. Well, might just listen to them.

Well, the bright side is, I got a chance to learn somethings important during my stay in the hospital.

First, life is crazily UNPREDICTABLE. You'll never know what will turn up in your life tomorrow, or even the next second you breathe. I used to be a very healthy person, I seldom fell sick, even for simple illness like catching a cold. But see, who knows what'll happen, I even got myself admitted to the hospital, which I never imagined would ever happen in my life before. Or maybe, the next phone call that you get, might be informing you that you win a lottery. Anything can happen within a blink of eye. Therefore, cherish every moment you have right now. Yes, right now. Either it's bad or it's good, remember at least you're still alive to feel it. Start doing what you want and what you love now. Chase your dream. Live like there's no tomorrow.

Second, LOVE your FAMILY. Your family might not be the best one in the world. Every family has its flaw. You might hate it, but remember you're a part of it, so maybe you wanna check on yourself first? If you hate your family, you could be hating yourself too. So why love your family? Because family is the one who will love you unconditionally. Totally. My mom is fine with exhausting herself up as long as I had all that I need. My brother is fine with losing some sleep for several nights in a row just to make sure that I had no problem sleeping at nights. My other brother is fine with all the fuss like looking for ways to make me feel better, going back and forth, doing the housework while mom was taking care of me in the hospital. My dad is fine checking me every day, asking around and spending a large sum of money that he hardly earn only to make sure that I would be healthy again.
That's why, love your family. They are the one who will support you whatever happens. (well, except if it's a bad thing, of course they won't support you!) The way they show their love might not be the sweet one, but you don't want to go through what I go through, right, just to experience how deep their love to you? Start loving your family more. Hang out with them. Spend more time with them. Because they're the most precious thing that you'll ever have in your life.

Third, LOVE others. For almost every single day of my 6-day stay in the hospital, there were people visiting me, my relatives, my best friends, my colleagues, my students, even my family members' friends. They all showered me with a lot of affection, care and love. They kept supporting me, buying me food that I like so that I could eat more, trying to make me smile, trying to make me feel comfortable. I'm so grateful that I have them in my life. This was when I realized that I had these amazing people around me, who care about me, who won't take me for granted, who will be there through good and also bad times, who indeed will stay with me when I need them. Which is why, with their love for me, I should learn to love others like they do. Cause only with love, we can make the world a better place, 'ait?

Fourth, DON'T OVERTHINK. I myself am a person who ponders a lot. When you tell me I'm sick, then I'll start to wonder a gazillion things, like "Will I be hospitalized? Do I need to have a surgery? Will I be okay? Will I bla bla bla and bla bla bla?" which make me stressed out. It's still hard for me to not overthink, since it's one of my nature, but seriously your mind affects your body greatly. When you're not feeling well, don't let your mind burden your body. Cause your body listen to your mind. Just have positive thoughts, and your body will response with positive vibes. If it's hard, try to do your hobbies, or anything you like, so that you won't think about it too much. :)

Well, I feel extremely thankful to anyone, who has been there for me during those hard times. Whoever you are, including the nurses and the doctors. Thank you so much. :)

Okay, okay, I know it starts to feel like I'm writing a novel, and it gets boring, right?
So, I'm gonna end this, don't worry, haha
My point is, I had to go through this not-so-good experience (well, since when being admitted to hospital is a good thing? *shrugging) to realize what I have, and learn all these things. I hope that you don't have to experience the same thing just to realize what I realized and learn what I learned.
You can start by looking around, and start loving :)

Btw, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow! <3
So, Happee Valentine's Day, everyone!!
Spread the love! :*

xoxo

sillyandordinarygirl

Here it goes.

First, we created a group chat thru Line without her(of course, it's without her!) and discussed about how we should celebrate it this year. Well, we have been celebrating birthdays for years now, and it's getting harder and harder each year trying to figure out what's the best surprise that we could come up with this year. There were some ideas mentioned, such as hiding in her house and surprise her when she arrived home from work, another one was appearing suddenly at her gym, or even make some excuses to take her to our basecamp. At first, we struggled a bit looking for the best choice. Some wanted to make a big blast, some wanted to have a simple one. But! 

Something happened in the midst of the confusion, and it led us to an anonymous vote.

I couldn't use the word "fortunately" here as it's not entirely a good thing for us. One of our members, the host of our basecamp, Mr. Daniel Jiang, fell from his motorbike and hurt himself while he's on the way to work one morning. And along with that, came a new idea, "let's pretend we're visiting him, make her think that we forget about her birthday, but we're having her birthday surprise instead." So, it's a surprise beneath another surprise.

We told her that we're going to surprise Daniel by visiting him at his home, buying him some fruits, wishing him get well soon, bla bla bla (Daniel actually knew about our plan). So, we ended up with two different group chat. One entitled "Diana's Birthday Surprise"(with Daniel, without Diana), and the other one for Daniel's surprise(without Daniel, with Diana). The second one was actually a disguise to make her think that we're really serious with our plan.

Confused?
Hopefully not. :)
Cause it's far more confusing for us.
Trust me, when you're in our positions (the remaining members), it was really hard to stay focus. We had to multitask, being active in both groups to keep her guard off and also discussing what to prepare for the surprise, and seriously, it's extremely puzzling. There were times when we made mistakes, though, like mentioning about cake in the wrong group. Fortunately, she didn't realize anything. XD

To make everything more real, I even pretended that I wouldn't be able to join because I wasn't feeling well,(this is just an excuse to let me have more time to buy the birthday cake) and she trusted me. *I'm so sorry for lying. T.T

For all those times, she really did believe that everything was for Daniel.

Our initial plan was for me to arrive first at Daniel's house with the cake, and for the others to gather at her house and go together to the basecamp. So both Daniel and I would surprise her when they arrived. BUT, it didn't go as planned. It was getting dark when only Winda and Erick arrived at Diana's house (Wesley took some time to finish his bath, and Putra was stuck at his house waiting for him). Three of them didn't want to set off late, because they had to ride public bus, and it's dangerous if it's dark, so they decided to leave first, without the other two.

Daniel and I had waited for quite a while, then suddenly Winda told us thru Line that they're coming. Daniel realized that I hadn't hidden my shoes yet, and I realized that Diana would recognize my shoes, because we bought it together. I rushed to the door to remove my shoes, but right at the moment when I almost opened the door, I saw two people standing in front of the gate, and they saw me too!!! They directly ducked down, and I was panicked. "She saw me, she saw me!", I told Daniel.
His reaction was LOL.
We carried the cake to Daniel's room(on the second floor) hurriedly, and waited patiently for them. Daniel's mom let them in, and let them sit in the dining room as they're impatiently waiting for the other two to arrive. We kept track on what's happening downstairs thru live update in our group chat cause Winda and Erick were signalling us every second.
Putra and Wesley took quite some time to come, especially you, Wesley!!
Both Daniel and I even lit the candles every time they said, "Get ready!", and then blew them again when they said, "Wait! Cancel!" a second later for several times. =.=


And here's the video of what happened next.
I was hiding beside the wardrobe, and Daniel was holding the cakes with his back facing the door.
Enjoy :)

We're supposed to help each other, not to eliminate one another. 

We're living a short life here in the world, therefore live well,

and not shorten others' lives.

We should live together as friends, not as enemies.  

Well, last Thursday was Indonesian's father's day. I didn't know about it, and then I saw lots of celebrities and also instagram friends posted about their fathers in the social medias, and I was like, "Didn't we just have our father's day? Why do we have another father's day in the same year?" Then, I googled it, and found out that the international father's day is on the third Sunday in June, while 

our national father's day is in 12th November. 

Truthfully, I was about to let it pass by, without doing anything, and not even congratulating my dad, "Happee Father's Day!" 

But then, after long thought, we never know what future may hold for us. I never know I was gonna get sick, we never know what might happen to us tomorrow, or there might be no more tomorrow, we would never know. (Not that I'm wishing for bad things to happen, no!) and I realized that I didn't want to have any regrets. If I can do it now, then I should. 

So, when my brother and I were on the way home from work, I came up with a crazy idea, since I didn't have time to prepare for cake or a gift, and my daddy doesn't really like sweets, I thought of asking him to take a selfie with me, with a duck face! Haha

You might think that, "What's so hard about that? I can ask my daddy to do it anytime." But not for me. Daddy, for me, is a very strict guy. Whatever he said will become law for us. Truthfully, there are times, when my brothers and I were very afraid of him. We're afraid that we wouldn't be able to reach his expectations, or that he'll find our mistakes and we'd be scolded really hard. During those times, we would directly run to our bedrooms whenever he came home. We never really talked much to him.

When we're young, when most of our classmates had mobile phones (at that time, mobile phones were luxurious items), we never dared to ask him to buy ones for us. He had ever said to us, "If you want something, then you should save up yourself." And indeed, until now, he has never bought any luxurious items for us, including mobile phones. 

Therefore, he won't pose a duck face.

But, with times, I grew up to understand that he's doing all of these for us. He doesn't want us to be spoiled kids, he wants us to independent, he wants us to be better humans. Maybe he knows the risk, that by doing so, he won't be able to get close to his kids. But as a daughter, I, too, was at fault.

I used to keep thinking about the bad times I spent with him, which made me choose to be far apart from him. I never really thought about the good times; the times when I bragged around telling people that "I'm daddy's little girl!, the times when he would carry me on his back, when my tiny feet were too tired to walk, the times when he would let me sit on his shoulder, since I was too short to watch a show on stage, the times when every weekend, when he was supposed to have a rest after full week working, he took us to malls and different restaurants to eat, the times when he and mom let me slept with them when I couldn't sleep, until the times when he suddenly turned up at my graduation and wouldn't stop telling others that,"That's my girl!" :)

Those memories built up my courage to come to him and ask him to take a picture with me. I have nothing to fear. Again, I don't want to have any regret. Surprisingly, when I proposed the idea to him, he laughed and agreed. :D

(These are the haze condition in Medan on 24th October 2015)

(Taken from the second floor of my house)

(25th October 2015)

阳光，

Sunshine,

我是来向你道歉的。

I came to say I'm sorry.

虽然我们之间隔着厚厚的霾，

Despite this smog between us,

但我还是想对你说，

I still want to tell you that

你是公平的。

you're just and fair.

是我们犯了错，

This is our fault,

让自己陷进了深深的混沌里。

We created this mess.

我该怎么想你道歉，

If only this apology could

才能让我们会到童年的记忆中：

take us back to younger days,

天空是湛蓝的，

days of blue sky

空气是清新的，

fresh air

阳光是明媚的。

and brilliant sunshine.

我知道你会说，

I know you think us greedy,

你们太贪婪了。

that we're asking too much. 

-Personal Tailor  (私人订制)