This is just a random thought that passed my mind while I was idling, but it got me thinking and wondering. We grew up listening to sentences like, "Think about others! You shouldn't be selfish! Spare some for others!" and any other similar ones. We were raised and taught how to always share with others, and to not be greedy. That sharing means caring, that sharing is a good deed, that being selfish will make people avoid you and you'll be lonely and so on. That being altruistic is one of the should-have principles in life.
But what if we end up being too altruistic? That we're so used to thinking about others too much, that we forget to care for ourselves? That we are used to prioritizing others, and forget that we should prioritize ourselves too at times? What if we care so much about others, but we don't get the same in return, is it wrong to feel hurt? Just like how one-sided love works, one side loves too much, the other doesn't care as much, when the one side gets hurt, who to blame? The one who has too much love to share? Or the one who can't return the love?
To be honest, I was too naive at first growing up holding that "altruistic" ideology firmly that I used to believe when I think about others, when I put them first, they'll do the same to me, and we'll all be happy because we care about one another, living in this peaceful world, but hell NO, that's definitely not the way the world works. I do learn from experiences that we cannot expect everyone to have the same way of thinking like we do. Everyone is just different. So when you are being altruistic to others, doesn't mean that they'll be as considerate. It doesn't sound all that nice, but that's the truth.
Well, I used to think, when others are happy, I can be happy too, but when they are not happy, I start to feel bad and blame myself, and I end up hating myself even more, and I become unhappy too. But again, who will think about me? When I'm busy caring about others, who will care about me? That's when the reality hit.
I once asked my friends' thoughts about this, and I'm glad they gave me honest opinions which also enlighten me a lot. they said that I was hurt, because I expected too much; that being altruistic means being the one who gives sincerely, without expecting to get anything in return, it's not a give-and-take anyway. Whatever happens after the giving is done, either they give back or not, it's really beyond our control.
So, lessons learned. First, it is okay to be both altruistic and selfish at the same time. Selfish means you should love yourself, care about yourself first before you love and care bout others, while being altruistic is also fine, as long as it is not too much, and it's not killing you from the inside. Life is all about balance, after all. Second, you shouldn't be thinking too much or expecting too much of others, cause it can hurt too sometimes.
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