Hey, guys!
I'm feeling quite down today.
When I first started this blog, I thought that I'll only share all the happy things that's happening in my daily life so that I can pass positive energy to any of you. (*too much of Gandhi, isn't it?) And I never had any plan to share anything's negative. Because I don't want you, to feel down too.
Well, a friend of mine once told me this, "It's 'The Days of A Silly and Ordinary Girl', it's basically your diary, so you can share anything that happen to you. You can't always wait around till something comes up and you write about it." And at that moment, I realized he was right.
So, here I am, sharing my thought with you :) Just a brief one, don't worry.

First of all, fyi, I'm currently working as an English teacher. For all this time teaching, there have been several times when some students just come up to me, and tell me that they want to study with me instead of studying with another teacher because they said I was more fun, and I wouldn't torture them much with too much homework and exercises. Of course, as a human being and as a teacher, I should honestly said I'm proud, and I'm happy. It is like when your colleague or your boss tells you, "Hey, you did a good job!" kinda feeling. You know, the feeling of being liked is always nice. Therefore, I thought highly of myself, that maybe I'm a good teacher, I did a good job teaching, and bla bla bla. But today, I realized that maybe I was wrong. They like me, because I am easy to be fooled, to be cheated on, and I won't do anything about it. They're just not afraid of me. They know I'm not gonna scold them. That's why they chose me. Because although they chose me, they still don't study well, and don'tt listen to me well. They still cheat while they're doing their exercises anyway. That's when I realized everything. This kinda feels like having a boyfriend who asked you out just because you're the easiest among the others, you're easy to be cheated on, to be lied to, and you just go on with that because you don't want to ruin your relationship.

The reason I don't scold them is not because I'm weak or because I'm afraid, I'm just worried that if I scold them, it will cause our relationship to be awkward and it would influence the teaching process. You know, when you hate your teacher, you wouldn't want to listen to him/her anymore right? And I surely don't want that to happen.

I guess I'm a complete fool, thinking that they like me purely because they like my way of teaching.
It's true, Life is not always a bed of roses, anyway.
Guess it's really the time for me to start being realistic.

Well, that's all. Just sharing my simple experience with you, maybe you'll learn something from it, maybe not, whatever it is, I hope you enjoy reading. :)