Okay, my internet connection at home has been a real pain the ass for these two weeks. It's being going on and off like crazy again! Like it wasn't enough last time.
You know, the rainy season is back, and it's great because I love rain, but not the internet connection when it's raining. It really pisses me off at times.
So.. while it's going well, I need to post an entry before it's going crazy again.

Today, I want to talk about something that's been in my mind these past few days.

How does it feel when you finally get something you have really wanted for a long time, but when you actually get it, you don't feel good? Like in fact, it's not like what you have imagined it all along? I guess this is what we call as irony.

I'm gonna be very open about this. Truthfully, since I've been single for a while now, (a real long 'while'), there are times when I do hope I have someone, especially when I'm checking the social medias, and see lots of 'so-sweet(-it's-making-you-sick)' pictures of couples. I can't help but wishing I have one too. Doesn't mean I'm desperate. No, I definitely don't.

So, when someone finally reached out to me, I was so happy, thinking that the time has eventually come. This was it.

But well, instead of feeling great, I started to freak out. I was totally freaking out. It felt too sudden.  It's like I was scared with what's going to happen next. I was not feeling excited anymore. Like suddenly I'm not ready to lose the 'single' life I've been enjoying all this time.  

Is it always like this? Or is it just me? Maybe I'm a total coward?

Well, it's ironic cause it's not going the way I wanted it to be. And, it really doesn't feel good (I mean, the irony).

Any of you has any idea what I should do next?